- What is your job? " The holy virgin ".

- What is your job?
- I'm an executive with a doctorate


In distribution of
Petrochemicals and hydrocarbons.
- Dismiss gasoline, right? - Yeah!

Pepito's father asks him when he arrives from school ...
 - Pepito, how did you get the exams today?
"Well, I do not know, Daddy, but the teachers


are very religious. - Religious? Cast?
 - Well, while reading my exam, they did not stop
 saying "Oh, Lord", Ave Maria purisima "
" The holy virgin ".






Keyword:
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The crocodile to crocodile potato: "I'm going to mess with it."

The crocodile to crocodile potato:


 Papa, when will I have money?
 When you make the camera, my son.

"I'm going to mess with it."
 - In a problem?


"No, in a hurry to .
 -JAYJAJAJA Chinese, you're all a .
-I know. I am !






Keyword:
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You would have a Ferrari.

"Uncle, with the money you spend on cigars,

  You would have a Ferrari.

  -And you smoke?

-Do not.

  "And your Ferrari?"

  -But...

  "WHERE IS YOUR FERRARI?"

What is the difference between a motor and a toilet?

 In the engine you sit to run,

 and in the toilet you run to sit.

Keyword:
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Jaimito asks the father:

Jaimito asks the father:
Papa Do you think that Tuesday 13 is a day of bad luck?
- No, I think it's Thursday 15th ...
Why do you say that?
-Because it's the day I get married to mother ...

Keyword:
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"So short, your girlfriend?"

-Hey, I feel bad, I cut my girlfriend.
  -I understand you perfectly.


"So short, your girlfriend?"
"No, I also speak espariol.




Keyword:
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"And you're afraid of the Devil?"

A boy says to Jaimito,
"And you're afraid of the Devil?"
-I am not afraid of anything or anyone,


not even malamen-And who is that?
"No idea, but it must be very bad,
because my mother when she prays,
ends up saying:" And rid us of malamen !




Keyword:
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Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!

In a bar, a drunkard shouts:
 - Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
 The bartender says,


"Hey, sir, Christmas is over, it's January.
- ;Oh no! My wife is going to kill me!




Keyword:
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* All men always *

"What would you do to me if I were naked in your bed right now?"


 -I would shelter you So that no resfries, princess
 * All men always *





Keyword:
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"Let Codas throw those drinks to the bottom of the sea!"

A drunk man enters a bar and says to his companion,
"Let Codas throw those drinks to the bottom of the sea!"


- Why? Are you anonymous alcoholics?
 -, No, I'm a diver!







Keyword:
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Pass a couple for a jewelry:

Pass a couple for a jewelry:
 - My love, Line can you buy a necklace?


 - And that?
 ...you already threw loose?





Keyword:
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Alcohol rejuvenates because when I drink

Alcohol rejuvenates because when I drink,
 I wake up like a baby.


 - And how is that?
 Vomited, mewed,
 shitting and crawling.





Keyword:
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I had a brother

I had a brother so dumb but so stupid that
I found a taxi driver job and one day a guy came up and said:


Take me where there are women who want to get out.
And the fool of my brother Hew it.
To the jail of maw women.



Keyword:
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I'm ready for Christmas shopping,

I'm ready for Christmas shopping,


 I'm just missing the money.

Keyword:
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"A question For Christmas

"A question For Christmas dinner,


 the cell phone goes to the right
or left of the plate?


Keyword:
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And she answered:

In a car was a married couple but they were fighting,

 when passing in front of a farm the groom saw little

 pigs and he said to the woman:  Your family?

 And she answered: Yes, my in-laws!

Keyword:
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ATTENTION FRIENDS:

ATTENTION FRIENDS: We are looking for 6 people available who want to ride the next Sunday in helicopter °. The exit would be at 09:00 am and will tour different cities;


 We would return in the afternoon. The idea is to eat later and spend a nice time among friends. Anyone interested send me an Inbox message. (Preferably you have a helicopter, that's the only thing we lack).


Keyword:
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A good excuse to start drinking this Friday?

A good excuse to
start drinking this Friday?

Celebrate the baby
 shower of Nino Jesus !!


Keyword:
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Then go to a doctor and say:

There was a man who was frightened, because he had hairs everywhere in an enormous way.
Then go to a doctor and say:


 Doctor, doctor, I suffer doctor, I suffer?
 And the doctor says to him:
You make a teddy bear!



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"Let's all hold hands ..."

A man condemned to death in the electric chair and asked the executioner: 

 -1 What is the last wish? 

"Let's all hold hands ..."

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Baghdad attack, dozens of victims and injured

At least 28 people were killed in Baghdad as a result of a double bomb attack that was taken over by the Islamic state. Powerful explosions followed each other in a market frequented rather precisely Baghdad, where more than 50 other people were wounded.

IS Iraqi police said the deadly common strategy used in the attack. Initially, a car bomb exploded near a shop and then a suicide bomber blew himself in the wind in the crowd of people and emergency teams that had accumulated there. attacks occurred in an area inhabited mostly by Shiites, who are usually the targets of religious violence in the country.

Through an online statement, Islamic State claimed responsibility for the attack and promised more attacks to come. Analysts say that the jihadist group is under great pressure and fronts in such attacks is the only way to facilitate that is undergoing several offensives in Iraq and Syria. However, experts warn that despite the difficulties it faces, not ever underestimate the ability of IS for causing violence and casualties, especially among innocent civilians and vulnerable.

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