An old man asks Jaimito: Hear Nilio, how many atios do you think I have? Disctilpeme sir, but I only count to one hundred.
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Saturday, December 26, 2015
Grandma is phosphorescent?
Mama, mama, `Grandma is phosphorescent? No son, 4 Why? Then he is electrocuting.
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The teacher says to Juanito
The teacher says to Juanito: To see Juanito, what happens if I cut an ear? And Juanito says to him: I remain half deaf. And, what if I cut your other ear? I go blind. And the frightened teacher tells Juanito: "Why?" Because my glasses would fall off.
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Jaimito tells his father
Jaimito tells his father: "Papa, Papa, I have good news and bad news! What is the good Jaimito? ; I have approved all! (, And the bad? Clue is a lie!
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A man comes to the doctor
A man comes to the doctor and says to him: Doctor, I have a very serious problem, I take fart that do not smell. Let's see, get one, the doctor answers. He throws it and says the doctor: It is serious, May to operate as soon as possible of the nose!
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Are you serious?
"I'm craving.
-"From your lips, to kiss you as
if there was no Mariana.
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-Awww, are you serious?
-No, give me another tamal...
In the maternity ward
In the maternity ward
the jubilant father took pictures
of his newborn baby.
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The nurse asks: 'Your first child, sir?
No, I already have five,
iMi first came...
Wednesday, November 18, 2015
And one of the passengers tells them:
A terrorist group kidnaps a plane and one of the terrorists goes to the passengers and says: - Before we crash the plane, we are going to rape them all. And one of the passengers tells them: - Do not rape only
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women? And a gay who was on the plane answered: - Oh, sir, shut up, you do not know anything about terrorism!
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Monday, November 16, 2015
If they see me drinking too much alcohol do not think I'm drunk. What happens is that I have internal wounds and I do not want them to become infected.
If they see me drinking too much alcohol do not think I'm drunk.
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What happens is that I have internal wounds and I do not want them to become infected.
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Tuesday, November 10, 2015
Come in, I'm sorry, I've got him by the throat.
A drunk was pissing in the street.
A lady passes by, and says:
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- What horror, what a beast, what a monster ... !!!
And the drunkard answers:
"Come in, I'm sorry, I've got him by the throat."
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Monday, November 2, 2015
THE BEST FIFA PLAYER OF THE YEAR 2016 IS CRISTANO RONALDO
He was the favorite to win the award and is now official: Cristiano Ronaldo takes the prize 'The Best' by FIFA. Ronaldo Real Madrid defeats candidacy Lionel Messi (who was not present, as no other player of Barcelona) and the candidacy of Griezmann, in polls of captains and coaches from 209 federations FIFA journalists representing every country and vote recognized by FIFA official website.
"What an extraordinary year. With the help of teammates...
Friday, October 23, 2015
I will be one of Pepito's women.
The teacher asks Pepito: "What do you want to be older Pepito?
"I want to be a drug dealer, have a lot of money, houses, cars, farms,
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private planes and lots of women to give them what they ask for.
"And Juanita. -Ay profe, I will be one of Pepito's women.
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Thursday, October 22, 2015
I was very rich
I was told that if I cook the chicken
with beer, I was very rich ...
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and here I am ... with tremendous
drunkenness and polio all burned
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Tuesday, October 13, 2015
Lord, bless all my vicious friends of Facebook and Whatsap
Lord, bless all my vicious friends
of Facebook and Whatsap .....
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But do not take away much of
the vice so they can continue
gossiping with me in the new
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Saturday, September 26, 2015
- Mama, give me a couple of coins
- Mama, give me a couple of coins
that in the street there is a poor
man screaming desperate.
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- Take Jaimito, what a good heart you have,
I like it that way. ... After a while ...
- By the way ... What did Mr. Jaimito shout?
I shouted: Ice cream, rich ice creams!
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Wednesday, September 23, 2015
"Sells a mother without feeling."
He finds a drunk crying in front of a sign,
and passes a friend and asks:
Why cry? The drunk indicates the sign and says:
There is no shame in this country, there says
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"Sells a mother without feeling."
The friend says to him:
Do not be brute !, there he says is
"Wood, zinc and cement sold."
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Cristiano Ronaldo ● The Most INSANE Free Kick Goals Ever
Cristiano Ronaldo ● The Most INSANE Free Kick Goals E...
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
Kylie, provocative photo with her friend
Kylie Jenner has donated picture really 'hot' its followers to "Instagram" as he was photographed together with her friend Jordyn Woods.
Two girls dressed in bikini at the pool looked wonderful.
Of course, with its shapes, Kylie were what attracted the most attention.
Photo Gallery
...
Tuesday, September 1, 2015
BODY BUILDING EXERCISE AT GYM. FEMALE CROSSFIT WORKOUT MOTIVATION 2016. FEMALE FITNESS MOTIVATION
BODY BUILDING EXERCISE AT GYM. FEMALE CROSSFIT WORKOUT MOTIVATION 2016. FEMALE FITNESS MOTIVATION
...
Monday, August 31, 2015
A jealous husband calls the house by telephone
A jealous husband calls the house by telephone: - Old woman ...
Where are you? - At home - 6Segura? - Yeah!
- Let's see ... get the blender RRRRRRHHHHHHH
- OK, goodbye Another day, same thing:
- Old ... & where are you? "At home," he says.
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He put the blender on. "
Well ... see you at night. The next day, the husband
decides to arrive at the house early and without warning:
- Hello, son...
Saturday, August 29, 2015
And Pepito answered:
Pepito was with his best friend and looks at the calendar and says:
pace 15 days my rest rests in peace.
When he heard this, the friend said to him,
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"Hey Pepito, why did not you tell me anything about the death of my uncle?"
And Pepito answered:
How do you think if my aunt di...
Tuesday, August 25, 2015
- Are you saying me fat ??
-My love do you want us to go to the GYM together?
- Are you saying me fat ??
-Well if you do not want to!
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-Haaa, are you telling me gossip?
-Chate mate!
"Are you telling me hysterics?"
"That's not what I said!" "So I'm a liar?"
-No fences then .... Let's see !!!
Why do you want it alone ??
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Saturday, August 22, 2015
Wait 9 months
- Child, what you did has no
name !. -
Not yet Papi, but
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wait 9 months and
I'll put a pretty o...
Monday, August 17, 2015
WOMEN SHOULD PRAY.
WOMEN SHOULD PRAY.
Lord, I ask wisdom to understand this man.
Patience to bear it. Goodness to treat.
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Love to forgive him.
I do not ask for strength, Lord,
because if you give me strength !!!!
I KILL IT !!!!! Ame...
Saturday, August 15, 2015
COLLECT YOUR THINGS, WE'LL GO ...!
A young woman, very beautiful, I go to prison to visit her husband who had just been sentenced to 40 albs. They were closed for the first few days. As soon as he enters the living room, he embraces and exclaimswith
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tears in his eyes: "Ay Tito! 40 years, Titus! And the husband responds: "Well, my love, what is going to be done! "Oh, Tito! Talk to the judge who has sentenced ... "" What did...
Wednesday, August 12, 2015
'I love you'
A 'I love you'
will never overcome
a 'Ya deposited'.
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Friday, August 7, 2015
I was told that if I cook the chicken with beer
I was told that if I cook the chicken with beer,
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I was very rich ... and here I am ...
with tremendous drunkenness and polio all burned
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Wednesday, August 5, 2015
19-MAN SQUAD FOR MATCH AGAINST CELTA
Real Madrid go in to the Copa del Rey quarter-final first-leg match at the Santiago Bernabéu
Zinedine Zidane has named a 19-man squad for the Copa del Rey quarter-final match, where Real Madrid take on Celta de Vigo at the Santiago Berna...
Tuesday, August 4, 2015
Mom, I want to have a girlfriend.
- Mom, I want to have a girlfriend.
- Because son?
- Because they all have one.
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- If everyone throws to the river, to to strips too?
- No, I'll stay with your girlfriends.
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Monday, August 3, 2015
Granny, close your eyes.
- Granny, close your eyes.
- And why do you want me to close my eyes?
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- Because dad says when you close your eyes we'll be millionaires.
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Sunday, August 2, 2015
Tell me a teacher !!!
PEPITO !!! - Tell me a teacher !!!
- Name a fast mode of transportation.
- The master language.
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- Like the tongue Pepito !?
- Siii !!! Because I always listen to
my mom who says to my dad:
"Owd old man with the tongue that way faste...
wand
- If your girlfriend tells you
that there is no magic in the
relationship is simply because
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they are already doing tricks
with another "wand."
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Friday, July 31, 2015
At school, the TEACHER tells the STUDENTS:
At school, the TEACHER tells the STUDENTS:
- Nitios, copy the task. And PEPITO responds:
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- Profe, best subala to the FACEBOOK and us TAG.
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A week later she called and asked
A peasant gives a washing machine to his Mama who lived in the field and inside the washing machine sends him a blender, to give him a double surprise. A week later she called and asked ... Mom, how was the
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washing machine ??? - and Mama says ... * There is little child, the large lava very well, but the little girl made me shreds my breeches and socks to Papa xD.
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Sunday, July 26, 2015
You have already pissed again in the fridge.
The husband is completely drunk and
says to his wife when going to bed:
- I have something incredible happened.
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I went to the bathroom and when
I opened the door the light has been
turned on automatically, doing nothing.
- The mother who gave birth to you,
I kill you! You have already pissed again in the frid...
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
They call a lawyer and begin to read it
A milkman dies and the whole family goes to the next day to see his will.
They call a lawyer and begin to read it:
"My son left the houses to the north,
my daughter the urbanizations of the south and my wife the buildings of the city ...
In this the lawyer asks:
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-6Her husband was rich?
And the lady says:
"How rich and nosy!
Those are the routes for it to distribute milk!
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Monday, July 13, 2015
A 25-year-old woman tells a friend about her marriage to a man with 75 albs
A 25-year-old woman tells a friend about her marriage to a man with 75 albs. He's such a gentleman ... he brings me flowers every day, he gives me chocolates, he takes me for a ride, we went on vacation to Hawaii
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he buys me clothes every week, he takes me to the movies, the theater, dinners at the best restaurants, jewelry. Of the bed? Asks her friend. - In the bed we do the treatment. R...
