Happy New Year !

Merry Christmass....

Monday, August 31, 2015

A jealous husband calls the house by telephone


A jealous husband calls the house by telephone: - Old woman ...
Where are you? - At home - 6Segura? - Yeah!
- Let's see ... get the blender RRRRRRHHHHHHH
- OK, goodbye Another day, same thing:
- Old ... & where are you? "At home," he says.


He put the blender on. "
Well ... see you at night. The next day, the husband
decides to arrive at the house early and without warning:
- Hello, son ..., and to the mother where he is not,
pa ... He left and took the blender.



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Saturday, August 29, 2015

And Pepito answered:


Pepito was with his best friend and looks at the calendar and says:
 pace 15 days my rest rests in peace.
When he heard this, the friend said to him,


"Hey Pepito, why did not you tell me anything about the death of my uncle?"
 And Pepito answered:
 How do you think if my aunt died?

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

- Are you saying me fat ??


-My love do you want us to go to the GYM together?
- Are you saying me fat ??
-Well if you do not want to!


-Haaa, are you telling me gossip?
-Chate mate!
"Are you telling me hysterics?"
"That's not what I said!" "So I'm a liar?"
-No fences then .... Let's see !!!
Why do you want it alone ??








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Saturday, August 22, 2015

Wait 9 months

- Child, what you did has no
name !. -
 Not yet Papi, but


wait 9 months and
I'll put a pretty one!

Monday, August 17, 2015

WOMEN SHOULD PRAY.


WOMEN SHOULD PRAY.
Lord, I ask wisdom to understand this man.
 Patience to bear it. Goodness to treat.


Love to forgive him.
I do not ask for strength, Lord,
because if you give me strength !!!!
I KILL IT !!!!! Amen.

Saturday, August 15, 2015

COLLECT YOUR THINGS, WE'LL GO ...!


A young woman, very beautiful, I go to prison to visit her husband who had just been sentenced to 40 albs. They were closed for the first few days. As soon as he enters the living room, he embraces and exclaimswith


tears in his eyes: "Ay Tito! 40 years, Titus! And the husband responds: "Well, my love, what is going to be done! "Oh, Tito! Talk to the judge who has sentenced ... "" What did he say? " "He told me that every time I did it with you, I would cut you down a camel ally!" -I; Queeee !? But how unfortunate that r -cabron abuser. What did you answer "Oh, Tito! COLLECT YOUR THINGS, WE'LL GO ...!

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

'I love you'


A 'I love you'
 will never overcome
 a 'Ya deposited'.

Friday, August 7, 2015

I was told that if I cook the chicken with beer


I was told that if I cook the chicken with beer,


 I was very rich ... and here I am ...
with tremendous drunkenness and polio all burned



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Wednesday, August 5, 2015

19-MAN SQUAD FOR MATCH AGAINST CELTA


Real Madrid go in to the Copa del Rey quarter-final first-leg match at the Santiago Bernabéu
Zinedine Zidane has named a 19-man squad for the Copa del Rey quarter-final match, where Real Madrid take on Celta de Vigo at the Santiago Bernabéu

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Mom, I want to have a girlfriend.


- Mom, I want to have a girlfriend.
- Because son?
- Because they all have one.


- If everyone throws to the river, to to strips too?
- No, I'll stay with your girlfriends.





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Monday, August 3, 2015

Granny, close your eyes.

- Granny, close your eyes.
-  And why do you want me to close my eyes?


- Because dad says when you close your eyes we'll be millionaires.



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Sunday, August 2, 2015

Tell me a teacher !!!


PEPITO !!! - Tell me a teacher !!!
- Name a fast mode of transportation.
- The master language.


- Like the tongue Pepito !?
- Siii !!! Because I always listen to
my mom who says to my dad:
"Owd old man with the tongue that way faster."

wand


- If your girlfriend tells you
  that there is no magic in the
  relationship is simply because


  they are already doing tricks
  with another "wand."




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